But can I ever get it back?
The moment I thought it was over the dynamics of my thought process came to a screeching halt. As much as there were difficult thoughts, as much confusion there was about certain things: it all kept me going. It brought stability to my mind and my heart.
Is there even a possibility for a second chance? I'll never know if I do not pursue one. I can't be much worse than I am now. If it leads to me getting hurt even worse then I just have to remember that pain is weakness leaving the body.